(Todd to me) You are starting to poke at some really important (and somewhat dangerous) aspects of where Christian theology doesn't match up with much of what we’re taught about God in the West.
I’ve been spending A LOT of time in Genesis and I’ve been struck by how it’s essentially the same story over and over...
Abel favored over Cain (Cain retaliates).
Jacob favored over Esau (Esau retaliates)
Joseph favored over his brothers (brothers retaliate)
Here’s one you’ll lose sleep over. Why did God favor Abel over Cain? Be careful...if you say it’s because he brought him the better offering (meat over vegetables), then are you saying that God’s favor/elect is ascribed by God for those who DO certain things?
Does that mean we can earn God’s love?
I think one of the best places we can be in (in terms of growing in the Lord) is when we’re forced to believe something theologically that we don’t want to believe. Sometimes we can create a God we want (I think that’s called ‘idolatry’)...so the process you’re going through is true repentance. As in, “think again.”
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